This historic run, originally from Bournemouth to Swanage, can trace its roots back to the early part of the century, and was a ritual originally carried out by a group of Bournemouth Lotus Owners (BoLOCs). The route has been changed over time, this iteration being suggested by Ginnders, who suspiciously wasn’t joining us.

Keen to avoid as much of the Friday traffic chaos as possible, Mrs FW and I headed West at midday and spent the day mooching about the Hampshire Dorset border, before grabbing some pre burger nourishment as we wouldn’t be arriving in Swanage until around 9pm.

  

These days the start point is Ferndown Sainsbury’s. 12 cars were assembled ready to to leave and the briefing given.

Main points of the briefing were:

Don’t leave the car park ahead of the lead car (yes this has happened before, one person was a little too keen and everyone followed them, leaving me the last car left, when I was supposed to be leading).

Keep an eye on the car behind, slow down at junctions to ensure we don’t lose anyone.

        

Our / my track record isn’t good, for some reason (shear incompetence probably) either I will get lost and lead us all the wrong way (occasionally this will be someone’s driveway, I think they were quite surprised to see several Lotus arrive and turn around and promptly leave again) or I lose half the group. Alas today would turn out to be no better.

Philygumbo had some electrical problems on route to Sainsbury’s which turned into a flat battery. Delbert came prepared for all eventualities had some jump leads and Phil’s car was started (he also had a voltage meter and found the alternator to be kaput), he bailed out and headed home ahead of us, only to clap out on the second roundabout.

The main group went on and parked up in a safe point while Delbert and King SuPah stopped to try jump starting the car again. A new battery was procured from a conveniently placed Halfords,

 

Most of us parked up waiting, however Juliadream sailed by (pun intended) without spotting 7 brightly colored Lotus and the bald bloke frantically waving at them to stop.

davehope almost got to where we had parked, but thought he’d gone wrong and turned back to the main road and then vainly attempted to chase us down in the wrong direction.

Delbert and King SuPah found us again after seeing Phillygumbo on his way and we were back up to 9 cars (from an original 12).

We set off again and after a short distance we ended up with a couple of Euroboxes between me and Dobbin, therefore Dobbin didn’t see me turn in to Burt’s Lane (a road, not a euphemism) and we’d gone from 9 cars to 1 in the blink of an eye. Tuning round and chasing the 8 errant Lotus, I find them turning round and coming back in my direction. Another about turn for the Womblemobile and back up Burt’s Lane (snigger), this time followed by 6 Lotus, yes in the space of about 100 yards we’d lost Delbert and King SuPah.

With now only half the starting number of cars we set off again, running rather late and slightly concerned that all the food establishments would be shut for the night before we arrived. We agreed to to miss out the stop at the view point to give us the best chance of being fed..

Delbet messaged to say that they would meet us at the viewpoint (this was going to cause confusion and consternation as we couldn’t share this information with our group) so Mrs FW confirmed we would pick them up there, but not stop. On arrival the view point gate was shut, meaning 8 Lotus (yes, numbers were back on the rise) had to turn round and then squeeze passed each other on a very narrow road.

After this it was plain sailing, we headed down to Swanage and parked up, meeting the free roaming members of our original contingent, including Philygumbo, who’d changed into a working car and beaten us there.

   

 

Food was procured, eaten and we said our goodbyes to some whilst the diehard members then went on to the Scott Arms in Kingston, a great pub with fantastic views over Corfe Castle. I think there were 6 cars, so back to half again. A quick drink and we departed, most heading to their homes, Mrs FW and I to our luxury Airbnb garden shed, up the biggest Hill in Swanage.

Thanks all, here’s to the next one.

Report By Mark Holttum (Fatwomble)